Tech Nidarshan’11- a little of the lot!

~100^th post on froZENwell~

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Disclaimer

This post is an account of my experience working for/in Tech Nidarshan’11 held between 3and 5 November, 2011 at NMAMIT, Nitte. All the views expressed here are personal to me and I do not wish to entertain anybody’s opinion(s) that can negatively impact the spirit of my post and hence of Tech Nidarshan’11. I have not named anybody in this post because naming each and every person wouldn’t be possible.

Q- You did not attend #TechNidarshan11, what have you missed in life? A- LIFE!—
Naren (@NirBuddhi) November 05, 2011

Much before “This November”

A very vibrant group of students met up for the first time in the college campus on 28 May 2011 and that was the beginning of  “the core committee”, a group that would go on to expand and handle most of the fest activities in a manner  that was never witnessed before. We grouped ourselves into many departments based on our interests and capabilities. A bunch of students “with fire in their eyes”, as the core committee head would call us, laughed at each other; ridiculed one another (ask no further), but little did we know that we were just only getting closer to laughing together! There was never a compromise on the thinking; we never gave up thinking much more than what standards we had set. And then we promised to one another to do, whatever it “tech”s! This November, we were getting close to making a History! Did we promise way too much? Was it deliverable? Was it executable? Would it be worth all the effort and the build up? Would we make it? Would we live up to it?  Time was patiently waiting to answer to these.

Joining dots looking backwards

TN’11 was lucky to have a time tested model of TN’10, we started analyzing the first edition’s events and based on elimination, we retained the hit ones. That was an important step, I think. Like the other already established fests we could not afford to keep having only new events each time because that would mean a lot of ‘getting to know’ period, effort and of course the risk! We had a very clear idea about how Tech Nidarshan as a brand must look; hence we decided to have a logo so that we could standardize it and trigger the multitude’s memory. We used the fact that a standard tag line, an image impacts stronger on minds (like the f of facebook, the t of twitter), it was just one step; an intelligent one perhaps.

One of the major criticisms for TN’10 was that it wasn’t “tech” enough. Except, it was! But many failed to see it because it got overshadowed by the gleam and glamour of the cultural shows and external artist evening! Technical fests elsewhere are conducted this way, a lot of energy and money is spent on the show-show part of it. Thankfully for Tech Nidarshan’11, we had other plans, we had promised to do different after all!

The only way to make a statement is to make a difference

Tech Nidarshan’11 official activities began with Paathshala- a social initiative event in association with a frontrunner NGO for educating underprivileged children. This had all the chances of going wrong and going wrong horribly. Our gamble at associating with outside social organizations to conduct events? Never happened before.  Paathshala not only brought a lot of love and light to our lives but also gave us hope that new things are possible and that “hope is real”! Meanwhile, we were trying to get some sponsors for our events and what do we know, we got a fairly good response. Tech Nidarshan’11 ‘s branding was working underside, from headers of our letters, to our website, to flyers, handouts and even visiting cards, we had our logo and tagline printed!

Most important outcome, in my opinion was that our attitude had begun to change towards outside associations. We went on to have food stalls installed in our campus, we had events fully sponsored by certain companies, and we had professional stage settings- all of it a new precedent at Nitte! We had super bikes and super gadgets kept for display too. We had managed to “tech” it to a large extent.

All decked up!

There were hurdles, as one might guess, but we would get into huddles and jump over them. Also, I must mention that for the first time I saw a clear division in the students of our college. A large interested group that did certain one thing the best, a fairly large group that did everything fairly well, a small group that did everything very well and the small disinterested group that never showed up from the beginning to the end. My personal favorite was working with the The Team Thorana- the official event organizing group of NMAMIT. We procured materials and made our own participant folders, we stayed back till late and prepared to decorate every part of the campus. Also, we thought it is never a wrong time to appreciate art, we opened up the stage for students’ drawings, paintings, stamp-coin collection! These all proved very beneficial because this did not let anybody feel that they were doing nothing- the last category of students also joined in in different places!!! Somebody was good with kids- organized Paathshaala, somebody good at crafts- joined Thorana and so on! Tech Nidarshan began with an intention to demolish the branch divides and Tech Nidarshan’11 went a step ahead to demolish personality divides, the many membranes vanished!

Cultural evenings have been the trend in almost all the fests in our neighborhood and it also has been a Nitte favorite, but this time it was eliminated and that gave us opportunity to include few more events i.e, Tech Bits- the technical gaming zone. The intention of it was to keep the campus lively despite the absence of a cultural evening! I think, it clicked well! There were people in every nook and cranny and they stayed back for nothing but “tech”!

Tech Nidarshan’11 kept everybody very busy, there was a lot to miss if you wished to catch up with one thing and that was the beauty of TN’11. You had Fiery Birds, live adaptation of Angry birds on one side, you had gadget expo on another, would you miss eating the kebabs? Would you not watch the air show then? Wouldn’t you take part in Zeztifiedv2.0? What about Xpressions, would you have the time to have a look at it? What about…

The many Murphies!

“Whatever could possibly go wrong, will!” Just a week before the D-day we had begun to get all the weather forecasts against us; ‘torrential rains’, it said.  “Sunta hain Guru gyani, gagan mein aawaz ho rahi jheeni”, said Kabir (sorry to bring him here ) 

For #Nitte people worried about rains during #TechNidarshan11 – Arey mann dheeraj kahe na dharai? #Kabir—
Naren (@NirBuddhi) November 01, 2011

Our hearts managed to reach our mouths! Everything now depended on rain? Months of preparation would get washed away? The many outdoor events, the air shows, the bike expos, the registrations, the decorations, the external artist, would all get drenched now? Seeing a few days’ before the fest, it seemed there was every possibility of everything going wrong. But we never lost hope, we never gave up.

Just took a random online tarot, it said "Time to reap the harvest of previously sown effort" #TechNidarshan11 #Nitte ALL EXCITED!!!—
Naren (@NirBuddhi) November 03, 2011

Sometimes, it is not all about technology, it is also about faith! But it did rain on all the days, after all the forecasts proved to be accurate. It did not affect Tech Nidarshan’11 organizers much though. Solutions came up right from skies. It would rain and stop just before the air show, it would rain and almost ruin the external artist evening but then would stop to allow the music to take over!

So what was Tech Nidarshan’11 made up of? Personally, it was my life’s most gratifying experience and now that isn’t anymore, I miss it. Looking back, I think, we did do, whatever it “techs” (screw grammar)

My two pence

There is lot of things, I am not able to describe in detail here. But there are some things I must mention and it must be told. What can be done/undone for a better Tech Nidarshan’12? My two pence on this-

• Reduce the number of events, limit it to 4-5 per branch- that we have now established ourselves as a happening event, it would be easier to have less events and more publicity.

• More technical talks please- would be awesome if we somehow had TEDx or such events at Nitte. Remember that it is a technical fest and less or no technical talks is off-putting.

• Contact contact contact- we need to contact more people, we need to keep on mailing people to have a look at our website. Collect the many many mail ids from me.

• Launch the website at least by April-May 2012 – perhaps an empty website with “stay tuned” and last year’s updates playing will do. Change the colours, fonts and taglines but may be retain the logo. Have a “look back” section in the website.

• Start planning for the events and there is nothing wrong in retaining the hit ones.  Upload the details early.

• Then perhaps go for sponsorship. The sponsorship brochure will work this time. Highlight TN’11 and the sponsors of it in the brochure.

• Have social initiative events and make sure it is used for publicity.

• Do not take internal publicity for granted.

• Keep the tone of our official internet interactions very professional. Make use of fb, twitter etc. the way some elite brand would. Hint: Cum 2 R fest pls. Tnx. Etc.

• Learn from every fest you attend or choose not to.

• And lastly, never fail to try out new things = don’t cling on too much to the old ones!

Image Credits : AKS Photography

Video credits : Bandi Deepak Reddy, Kishore Kumar Shetty, Gahana Shetty

Official TN logo designed by Karthik Kamath

Nothing at all कुछ भी तो नहीं …

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चलती है हवा, रुकेगी ही न कभी जैसे,

हर साँस घुल जाएगी, गंध-सुगंध जैसे!

हर वो स्वाद पिस जाएगी, बेस्वादी में ऐसे,

कितना उबालोगे, बासी भात को ऐसे?

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आयेंगे तिनके हज़ार, आग के लपट में जैसे,

बुझे भी ना बुझे बारिश की बोछार में वैसे,

साथ साथी भी जल जाएँगे, जलोगे तुम जैसे.

जमाकर रखोगे क्या खून, झास-दही जैसे?

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समंदर के बीच एक रेत के टुकड़े जैसे,

एक बिछुडा पत्ता, पत्तों के ढेर मे वैसे,

जान, जान लो के, जना है तो जाना है ऐसे,

कसकर पकड़ पाओगे पानी के बुलबुलेको कैसे?

 .

~

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The wind blows free like it knows no halt,

Stink in the fragrance, every breath will mix!

Every taste will get ground in the tasteless.

How much will you boil the stale broth?

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Thousands of twigs will burn in the searing fire

Even in the rain there’s no way to put it off!

Every companion will be preyed, like you burn.

How much can you store blood like hung curd?

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In the midst of the sea, like a speck of sand,

One lone leaf, in the pile of the dead ones,

Life, understand. Those born shall leave as they arrived!

How can you hold tightly, the bubble on water?

~

Ek Na Janiya- Not knowing ‘One’

कबीरा एक ना जाणिया, बहू जाने क्या होय? एक ते सब होत हैं, सब ते एक ना होय!

Kabira Ek Na Janiya, Bahu Jaane Kya Hoye? Ek te Sab Hoth Hain, Sab te Ek Na Hoye!

Kabir says, you don’t know ‘One’ what is the use of knowing everything and anything else? Everything comes from ‘One’, not the other way round!

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It is Kabir’s inimitable style to evoke ambiguities, even in this doha (couplet) he talks about a certain ‘one’ and exhorts to know the one. He almost rejects all the ones who know everything but one. My earthy mind wasn’t prepared to take Kabir’s argument without–what we call–tarqa, deliberation. Hence I began to cogitate. The more I did so, the more I found myself entangled in Kabir’s vani ; a trait unique to Kabir. I did not want to conclude anything by just one reading of the couplet.  I did not want to take whatever he said as true. This time, not so easily.

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I am one, you are one, I come from one place, so do you, you go to the same place, so do I! One beginning, one ending. Kabir says “One”. Isn’t it really obvious? The world being referred to as one organism, eating, living and leaving; bit by bit. What I needed to understand is if Kabir meant anything beyond what I understood. I do not doubt that he did. He knows better. I extrapolated this idea to include some more beings. We, as students of science have been told since day one that “Energy cannot be created nor be destroyed, it can only be transformed from one form to another”. Hasn’t science stayed firm on this concept since eons? It never gave up on believing or proving this. Therefore if you derived some equation or thought of some experiment that defied this law it would simply mean that your concept is wrong! The one, which drives everything in this existence cannot be created, cannot be destroyed, it just stays there forever manifesting in different forms, Kabir knew this ‘One’? Perhaps he did, considering Kabir seemed to know a lot many things beyond the scope of the age he lived in. Did Kabir know about the Big Bang Theory too? “Everything evolves from one not the other way round”?

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“One life to live”, they all say. I do not believe in it. I believe that we are born now, we live now, we will be born again. Like time is a cart wheel or Kabir’s grinding stone. There are many theories to support this and I think the one most important thing to learn for the believers of life being one is that they don’t get a second chance and be it love or hate they have to finish it this one time. Unfortunately, many of us take it even more lightly. If I began to believe that life is just one and if something confirmed it to me then I would grab every moment and probably even panic that I wouldn’t get a chance to better my Karma. For the ones who think life is only a one time journey, Kabir might be trying to say, “if life is just one, you fool! aren’t you screwing it up by doing everything else other than taking care of the one life? Everything is because of this one life and not because of anything else!”. If he meant this then we get the message.

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GOD. The ever elusive one. The one who some partially “believe” in, others don’t and rest “experience”. Kabir, from his poetry, seems to be very sure about the ‘one’. Is he simply, like other mystics of his time, exhorting us to believe that there is just one God? The omnipotent, the ultimate? Seeing the present day scenario, where hatred between followers of different religions seems hard to leave, only this argument seems to be logical. Religions have always dictated some laws and have exercised authority to make sure these laws are followed. But what if Kabir was just trying to tell us that you are the one who has a choice ultimately. You are the ‘one’ who chooses to be tyrannized by these laws and lawmakers or walk free. You are the one who makes everything (law of Karma yada yada yada) and not the other way round?

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Perhaps Kabir is reiterating that people and situations can only be won by love? Love keeps us all together- One! We have been reading, discussing, singing, dancing, realizing love! Some time I wonder that isn’t this the only thing we expect from everybody and everything? A little love? In Kabir, I have found new meanings of ‘One’. We are all one, we become one, our search is for the same one, we will all meet that one some day, we all need just the same one thing, we all are capable of giving the same one thing to one another, there is nothing we can call ours expect for this one quality, we all are driven by the same one, when we are made up of so many same things and all of it boils down to one, how different can each one of us be anyway? Kabira Ek Na Janiya, Bahu Jane Kya Hoye! If you don’t know this (one) what is the use of knowing anything else?

This post is the result of a conversation I had with a friend. I think I was successful in converting her into a Kabir enthusiast. Or was it me? Kabir himself slips so stealthily into our houses and lives and in no time, he is our own (and we are Kabir’s “fool”) :p

A few days…

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Upset, let down, insecure, a few days ago.

Dipped in ecstasy, the few days that followed.

Few days on a flame, few days in furnace!

Baby steps a few days, then panting in a race.

*

Excuses! Many a few day!

Delivering explanations that last for few days…

Few days on feast, few on fast.

As low as grass few days, hoisting up a mast!

*

Few days with friends,  few with love.

Seasons last for few days; yet they return!

Pieces of few days, recollecting.

Peace for few days, collecting.

*

Few days few leave, few days all.

Few days ago, few days forth.

Few days living, few days believing.

Few days reliving , few days relieving!

~

Written in the fear of temporariness (that is a word, right?).

Life is so unpredictable, few days we are this, few days that. Some days we want to be someone, some other days we don’t want to be just ourselves. We spend our entire life in finding out how much is few and how few is enough! Perhaps, in this constant process of correcting others, we have become proficient just in doing so much; so few. We are so interested in everything else, we tell everybody that life is of few days and that they must enjoy. Yet we ourselves lose each minute in fear. Today there is a real dearth of sane elders, who can tell us “it is okay, it will last only for a few days…”

PS: Dear reader(s), all of the above “gyan” is for me and not for you. But if you too found something for you in all this I would be most glad.

quoting Kabir…

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There is a voice calling out to you, listen O!

It promises to show, it claims to know

your fix, your fixations, your moan

your family, your friends and the foe

There is a voice listening! speak O!

 ~

Everybody in their everyday life is mauled by one situation after another, there is no time to halt; the incredible inertia of expectations force us to move. Then, all of us somehow end up on the road. When such is the reality of everybody’s every other day how does one not become longing of an assurance, how does one not want to hear from someone, how does one not want someone. There is no someone out there anywhere.

Lately I am quite inspired and let me say, awestruck by Kabir’s words, his style and his followers’ immeasurable faith in him. Kabir’s words, it wounds and if you pass out unscathed, that is the true Kabir! I am assured that Kabir is not a person, name, label, he is not just someone who lived and sang songs, he is not just a mystic, he is a theme! He is that infinite faith that we need to have in our lives, he is that question you did not dare to ask, he is that answer you did not dare to find.

Just when I was completely convinced that there is no someone out there, I heard a voice. A very strong one, a dynamic one. I cannot describe it to you, it is a personal experience. It must have been a dream, I do not know. I have a history of having vague and vivid dreams. But the voice was no dream. It did not speak any words, it seemed to suggest something, which would sound ”how could you even think that you are alone!” if I were to put it in words. I had a discussion about it with my mom and my sister. It was as if, the voice wanted it. What came out from that chat was almost life changing for each one of us. I believe it was a choreographed event, by an intelligent being out there. And I thought there is no someone out there! Glad I make mistakes.

Answers come from every corner and any corner actually, the answer came from Kabir; #Kabir actually. Some twitter tweeted two lines from Tagore’s translation of Kabir’s song “Are mann Dheeraj kahe na dharai’; It felt familiar, it felt like it, the voice!

Why so impatient, my heart?

He who watches over birds, beasts, and insects,

He who cared for you whilst you were yet in your mother’s womb,

Shall He not care for you now that you are come forth?

Oh my heart, how could you turn from the smile of your Lord and

wander so far from Him?

-from Songs of Kabir, Translation by Gurudev Rabindranath Tagore

There is no time to halt. My heart began to pound harder than ever as I read this, and there was my assurance, sung by one of the most elated souls- Kabir, translated by yet another great personality in history. I am not sure although if this “my voice” was that of Kabir’s or the ultimate voice of Guru he sings of! I do not know who reached out to me and who corroborated.

He says “Suntha hai Guru gyani, Gagan mein awaz ho rahi Jheeni: Some wise one is listening, the skies are making a subtle sound”

as if in reply to my complains, as if the voice is desperate to make me appreciate its presence. I do now!

For now, I am sure that I was wrong, the inertia of expectations is not pushing me, it is stopping me from falling off, the path I am walking on is the right one. For now, there is no reason for me to believe otherwise. Just, I must stop quoting Kabir and start absorbing him more.

He says, Kabir mann nirmal bhaya jaise Ganga neer, Pache pache sab chale, Kahe Kabir Kabir- Kabir cleansed his mind like the water of Ganga, now everyone follows him saying “Kabir Kabir”.

When such is Kabir’s voice, when such is his claim and when his truth is so evident how does one stop quoting Kabir?

inspiration credits- The Kabir Project

Is this this easy?

The purpose of our existence is not to make a living, but to make a life.—
Naren Pai (@froZENwell) December 20, 2010

I think, I function in a very different way, in the sense that nothing can be attached to me forever or for a sizable duration of time. I was nothing yesterday, I am something tomorrow, I am yet again nothing tomorrow. I have been, and I feel so too in every levels of me I could ever visit, that there is no one word, no one talent, no one defect, no one trait that can be used to describe me, that I can  boast about, that can be used to make me feel ashamed of myself, that will pin point me in the crowd. People have called me too unstable, too fidgety, too fickle; I embrace their views, but I don’t understand the negative tone of their remarks. It is, if you ask me, a good thing to be unstable, fidgety, fickle. This obsession of ours with perfecting ourselves in every aspect has left me so amused by the very nature of human beings. I have not been gripped by this obsession yet. Not fully, I can safely say so. 

In this being fidgety, being erratic or even moody I have found a purpose.

We have set many goals for ourselves. But have we thought about a purpose. Your purpose in life cannot be “to become a good engineer”, not only because “good” requires a lot of defining but so does “engineer”! Hence I silently decided that purpose(s) of my life should not be something like this. It should not begin in mediocre words and end in a few more, it should not be able to be explained so easily, it should not be able to be achieved so easily (Yes, I will grant this to you that being a “good engineer” is difficult too, but there are good engineers, and engineering is just an example I took because I claim to know a wee bit about it, definitely not as much as the “good engineer” would)

इक साँस- that one breath

This is my first Hindi post here…It is a poem I wrote and I lost the sheet I wrote in. I never tried to rewrite it later and thus I lost it. I tried to think the lines and could not get the original ones. But I like this version too.

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इक साँस ज़बाँन तक आई बन सकी न आवाज़ ।

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ज़िंदगी के हर मोड मे, कुछ बनने की इस होड मे

कुछ सथी हमसे रूठ गये, कुछ रस्ते मे ही छूट गये

कुछ पत्ते देखो झद गये, कुछ बाँतें हध से बढ गये

कुछ चुप्पी मे झुट गये, कोई कानों मे गूंजे

पर हमसे न बोले, क्या है चुप्पी मे खास

~

इक साँस ज़बाँन तक आई बस बन सकी न आवाज़ ।

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कमज़ोरों की भीड मे, बेरेहमों की शोर मे

बस बंधके ही रेह गये, बस घुटके ही जी लिये

भूलें भूलों से नराज़गी और बाँतें भी की अनसुनी

कुछ खुद से है भूले, कुछ सख्ती से बोले

हम भी चाहते थे कहना, बस खामोशी मे रोये

~

इक साँस ज़बाँन तक आई क्यो बन ही न सकी आवाज़ ।

~

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I also tried to translate this to English, but I think the Hindi version sounds so much better,

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That one breath that never could become my voice.

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In every walk of life, in the desire of being something

I upset some dear ones, some ceased to walk with me

some leaves behold, have shed themselves, some friends have ceased to hold my hand

some remained silent, some still echo in my ears

but never did they tell me, what is so sweet of silence

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That one breath, which could never become my voice.

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In the mob of the weak, in the noise of the cruel

I remained a captive, smothering forever my being

I forgot your mistakes, and the pain caused by your words

Some easily went away, some harsh voices lingered

I desired to speak out, but wept within my void

~

That one breath, why could it never become my voice?

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How NO stuff works- 2

We talk so profound, all of us. We have our own laws and theories on happenings and different nuances of life. We don’t really use them ourselves and we throw them on others. It frustrates us because nobody really buys them, nobody really acknowledges your concern (even if it means faking a thanks to you, they will not). Our charms are dying slow and in this brain-dead state we are struggling between the eternal debate of euthanasia, except that the mercy is to be shown to our thinking; that difficult decision whether we must stick to what we have been doing and what we have been believing  in and what we have been preaching. It is not working for us and we are hoping it would for someone because if it did we could safely use it and preach it with lot more confidence. We can then cite these people’s ordeals as examples and boast to our people that we helped these troubled souls. While that still seems to be not happening, these very people are advising you too about their observations! But we don’t think so nice about them either. The problem solvers are themselves our problems!

 

So, what do we buy? Who is talking sense? Who has a clear intention of helping us out? Who are we seeking help from? Will they too burden us with their ‘return gift’ expectations? Will they make fun of us later on?

 

The friend who asks me to let-go a relationship is addicted to something as little as chewing gum. The good old pal who had all these opinions of politics himself did not vote this time. The neighbor whom I assisted in learning the scooter drove herself right into my car one night!

We won’t think nice. Nobody ever taught us how to.

If you think what you always thought, you'll do what you always did, you'll get what you always got. Think different!—
Naren Pai (@froZENwell) January 10, 2011

 

Where are pieces of advice, helping hands, shoulders to cry leading us to? Just how hysterical are our associations? Everyone is trying to help us out and we are trying to help everybody else but none of it is working, not to us, not to them, not to anyone. We have lost enough mind in all this relationship stuff and it is still hard to believe we care about losing our goddamned extra calories everyday? I don’t know the solution to any of these, I don’t know how you try to help someone. I don’t buy anybody’s advice now. No, really I don’t.

People are all troubled and we must accept and embrace this fact wholly. They can not do a thing for you.

 

Where are you going to apply all this help and assistance anyway? Are you going to compile all these suggestions and words of wisdom in a book and place it on eBay? Just how much are you taking from someone’s good intentions and genuine concern driven benevolence? We really do not know how to see the most in a person but we do know how to make the most of our disk space, delete unwanted! We can live with a person almost half our life but never really bother to hack into his mind, we are eager to know how to hack someone’s email though; they teach it too as a summer course! We have installed anti-viruses on our PCs but we are so careless about all the negativity that is ready to pop up. The news is, we can do this about anybody, anything, anywhere and anytime! We are throwing so much negativity all over the place that we have begun to not care that the place has become so dirty, may be because we have killed the frame of reference- the clean real self.

 

And that is why nothing seems to work for us. We are in shambles and we expect every being to work for us. We do not see any good in anybody’s doings. That is not the only sad part, we do things for others with a very negative mindset. See, we always try to be nice to others, but we never are. They don’t like us, they don’t appreciate us, they won’t bother themselves to think of us in the time of merry making, they will only “extract” work from us, that is what we think! May be we don’t gel well with them, how hard is that to accept? May be they are having their own set of problems, oh sure they do! But never do we think so. And it is funny to me because I do all of this; exact all.

 

We won’t give ourselves the time to love someone. We are waiting for them to slip so that we can safely tell ourselves that we were right in thinking bad about them. Because supposing that does not happen and they show themselves (or prove rather ) to be impeccable you have to go through all this guilt shit and then to mask it all you have to behave bad to them, then to justify your actions you have to glut yourself with all the fake hate and reinforce it into your conscience (refer dictionary if you have never tried to know what it meant). So, whether or not they are great to you, whether or not they prove their worth, you are going to hate them just so that you satisfy your belief about them. Is that fair, would you love it for yourself?

 

Give yourself the time to learn the subtleties of personalities, what they are and how they do things. They may appear funny, but they are really different. Don’t wait for them to slip. Don’t wait for them to impress, in fact let them not impress at all. You know it, you are not much of a big shot yourself. Things may or not may work for you if you try to think good about someone or something, but it may just make you feel good about yourself. Is that not half way through any work?

#frozenwellGYAN

I found out a way to get my tweets here. Some of my favorites I will find more and put it in one place, that is here :)
I have made a page for this

When nobody seems to heed your cry either you have to give up crying or give up trying. #frozenwellGYAN—
Naren Pai (@froZENwell) March 23, 2011

How NO stuff works- 1

After existing in this world for so long I think I have made some observations of life and its humour, I always wanted to write down my learning and opinions that I have developed over the years. I may not be able to list the sources as there are numerous and learning is an iterative, ever evolving and constant process. Hence I have decided to write it down under the title “How NO stuff works!” and post it on this blog as and when it occurs to me. The only purpose of this is for me to know more of what I am and what I have been doing, an assurance that these years weren’t so much of a waste after all!

When I sit down to give things a thought I feel that its all so much planned, something happening as a repercussion of something and something happening being a cause to some other thing, we getting some things, we being given some things, we being given away to some things and we giving in to some other things. It is as if there is no margin of error. Even if you screw it up totally, you seem to do it so perfectly well. How is it then that nothing ever happens to you, how you never were that topper kid, how your identical twin brother was the smarter one, how you always got the smaller pastry, how you always end up being the last one in a race, how you always had a pimple on your face, how you almost always pinched it and turned it into an ugly scar, how the most damaged one in a collision is your car, how you don’t understand anybody, how nobody understands you! Just how these stuff work? Just how, to you, NO stuff works?

The Buddha in me meets the Buddha in you…

Long back I had written this short story for Inidmag’s Katha Sagar contest. Due to some unfortunate reasons Indimag is no longer functional and the hyperlink doesn’t work So I thought I will put this post here after all. Hope I am not violating any copyright laws (well, the site owner is a good friend )

 
Nam myoho renge kyo…Nam myoho renge kyo…nam myoho …as this voice grew fainter and louder in equal intervals I felt the laws of acoustics and felt the wind, which otherwise I would have missed to feel if not for the chanting. There was a force in the voice. It rooted things down, it bound things up, it made you heavy, it made you fly, it anchored you, and it untangled your chains ,bizarrely simultaneously…renge kyo…Nam myoho…

When I am gone…

Don’t remember me when I am gone, don’t
If you had to, why did you not then?
Had you had to, couldn’t you have had then?
Had you not had then, why do you now?
If you had had, you don’t have to anymore.
Don’t remember me when I am gone, don’t
~
Don’t talk of me when I am gone, don’t.
Remember, I was around, and not anymore,
and that is not a difference, to you and few more
You were short of words, you couldn’t catch mine.
I don’t dwell on the words that you could not throw!
Don’t talk of me when I am gone, don’t.
~
Don’t cry for me when I am gone, don’t.
They won’t wipe your tears, you were the cause
they won’t cry along, or lend you their shoulder
they won’t, they won’t even try!
I was your shoulder and remember that I am gone!
Don’t cry for me when I am gone, no!
~
Don’t remember me talk, don’t remember me cry
and all you would remember is that it is hard,
to remember to forget me, the one you had forgot
because when I was being, you had got me going,
and now when I am gone, leaving even you behind
Don’t find for me; I am gone, don’t.

~

 

I think I have begun to do some crap poetry! As long as I am writing, I think, it must be fine. I will keep posting regularly henceforth. I have created a tag ‘crappoetry’ for my blog, so that when I(and IF I ever) write anything sensible in future I can look back and have a laugh at my crappoetry! and what when “I am gone”?…you try to laugh too!

Hidden lives ridden by love…

Sometimes I wonder, just how much we love ourselves, just how much we are trying hard to accept ourselves, just how hard are we trying to accept ourselves and if we are at all trying? We do not miss a minute to gripe and whine that we aren’t being loved by others (or more often than not a certain ‘someone’), but how much do we care to stop and remind ourselves that “hey! What the hey! I love me”. Probably, very few of us do do it anyway and those of us who do do it are considered eccentric (only probably because mad men love themselves a lot and they have accepted their condition truly and entirely!). That is how the card “the fool” in tarot set happens to be an indication that “you are not loving yourself enough”. Probably they always taught us only to love others and love animals or respect elders (The particular placement of animals and elders is purely coincidental and has no resemblance to any animal or elder, living or dead).

Feel! O Sophie

 

She walked by the lake on the somber sand

it caused her dismay; choking to life

to blur out in the gray, while gray herself

stoneless grave waiting in waters…

bequeathing cold in her to the cold lake

She walked by the lake, meek marsh around

open mouthed, preparing to devour

to be food to the nibbling fins

Bland salad waiting in waters…

mixing her taste, sweet, salt, sweat, blood, all…

She jumped in the lake, as if there was a pull

grip grew tighter, pulled in her solitude

just her anguish in, just the tears in

hair still floating, life still stating,

her value to her, to connections with her.

fingers numbing, blood gushed with light

voices practiced since long for this day,

to convey to her! “feel! Oh! feel”

She sleeps on the side of the lake…

they pushed her out- the stoneless grave

but retaining in them her woes, to feed the fishes

voices practiced day long for this long day

to return the taste it snatched, life that it trapped

to define the meaningless, the dead and the lifeless!

 

Dead year, Solid year…

Today is the first day of the second year of my blog. A place that was very dear to me gradually got abandoned by me. A link went missing, between me and this blog; between me and myself. I stopped writing, if I did write they became “bits of paper bits of paper making a place untidy”. How sad and bizarre, at the same time.

How you lose contact with entities in this world of mortals, while still continuing to exist. How in one minute everything is with you and everything is behind you and how the next moment everything you knew is a mirage, a desert’s game! How you are told often that attachments are bound to give you pain and yet how these very words are the only thing you seem to have. How suddenly its all about you, you are the only truth, you are the myth too! You are the only one you have, you are the only one you need! How yet again, everything changes and life is not just yours. How its reminded to you that you are on a journey, Not alone! Doing your things alone, but not traveling alone. How you can travel alone and still befriend strangers. How you plan to meet with them again and how you exchange their numbers. Then they go missing, and you do too. How you lose their number and they do too! How you think that you won’t see them again, yet again you do! Though this time in a different train…You don’t know them and they don’t too, again! Then it keeps you wondering, how strangers meet and how you become friends! You wondered this then, you are yet again, You spoke then, you are yet again…you were traveling alone then, you still are and but again, you think you thought it right but you got it wrong entirely, and yet again! You weren’t really alone, you just didn’t look around!